hockey does exist!

out of sheer boredom from being home for winter break, i went to a washington capitals game the other night. not the washington wizards, the best basketball in all the land, but the fucking washington capitals, the local hockey team. (apparently, hockey still exists, and i wasn't aware of it) but kidding and jokes aside, i went to go see the caps play against the montreal canadiens. going into the game, i learned quite a few things about hockey that are true and some things that are not:

1) hockey apparently survived into the 21st century. damnit. fuck. cock. balls. that wasn't supposed to happen.
2) more than 12 people show up to games. there were about 13,000 out of 20,000 at the phone booth that night. not too shabby.
3) the citizens of canada are not the only players of hockey. other countries play it too and they enjoy it just as much. suck it frozen ponds of manitoba.
4) the capitals have more than two players. before that night, all i knew were ovechkin and some black dude who doesn't look like he belongs. now the capitals have a full team except that no cares.
5) the capitals are better off the ice and than on. the fucking caps lost 5-2 to montreal but the day before managed to tear shit up on segways as shown below: (thanks to dc sports bog and steinzzz)

6) hockey isn't that bad. perhaps i'll go to another game in the near future.

One-Post Wonder

My 15 minutes of fame start now....

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2007/08/the_cone.html
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2007/08/skins_go_stache.html

As they continue to tick away and I fade into DC blogging obscurity, I just wanted to give some big ups to the DC Sports Bog for The Cone post. I wasn't expecting the Bog to actually find my newly-created blog, thus all of the normal cursing that a college student usually engages in. The post is cleaned up as much as possible, even without diluting the content of the post itself. Like all one-hit wonders, there's only one way to go: down. However, I must say that it was a crazy idea that somehow worked and I achieved blogging immortality for just one day.

The Washington Redskins Meet the Cone.

I went to training camp today for the Washington Redskins in Ashburn, VA. I had the day off from work, so my friends and I decided to hit up camp and experience it firsthand. We went all (crazy) with this, as we created a Facebook event, brought jerseys, and even carpooled up to Ashburn. At training camp, the word on the street from friends and other fans was that players would usually sign autographs for awhile after practice. When I heard this, I jumped at this chance, but I had nothing really great in terms of Redskins paraphernalia. Most people bring hats, balls, jerseys, etc. for players to sign, but that would be really boring and wouldn’t stand out. With the clock ticking against me, I had little time to buy new Redskins stuff. I grabbed a traffic cone from the trunk of my old car, that a friend had left in there previously, and we made our way to Ashburn.


We arrived at Redskins Park as practice was starting. I busted out the cone from my trunk and proceeded to carry it from the car into the viewing area. I watched the practice as I sweated my butt off, but I wasn’t interested in watching Ladell Betts fumble or see Carlos Rogers wear yellow socks. I didn’t haul this (thing) for a 30-minute drive to wear as a dunce cap or to direct traffic. I wanted some (flippin) autographs on this cone.


Practice ended after 90 minutes and the players slowly start to migrate towards the fans. I felt really unsure about this whole idea because 1) it was a (flipping) cone and 2) i was in front of kids. I hate children but the kids are more likely to get love from the players, since they had balls and hats, while I was a college student with a (flipping) cone. The players made their way over to where the cone and I were, and I lifted the heavy cone into the air. I yelled at the top of my lungs for Jason to sign my cone and Jason’s godly presence touched my cone as he grabbed the Sharpie out my trembling hand and signed the cone. I then knew what it felt to be a teenage girl seeing their favorite boy band. Except I didn’t cry.


I thought that it was pretty tits to get Campbell’s autograph, but then His Majesty Joe Gibbs made his way through the crowd and saw the cone as well. He took his sharpie and magically chicken scratched his John Hancock onto my cone. And then he and Sean Taylor proceeded to slap two (women) next me. (No, not really) Then we hit some bumps in the road. Rock Cartwright and Marcus Washington decided that they were too good for the cone and completely ignored the large orange cone that was in their face. It’s cool, you know, because Cartwright sucks and deserves to be cut after not signing it and Marcus Washington can just straight up suck my left nut.



The cone began to gain some notoriety with the players and the fans, as the fans would cheer every time the cone was signed. I’m sure everyone thought it was pretty badass of me to bring a cone in comparison to their hat or ball. Shawn Springs and Dan Steinberg (writer of the DC Sports Bog) received word of the cone and made their way over to where I was standing. Shawn took my sharpie and put his bane on the cone, while I invited Steinberg to come sign it. I love Steinberg as a writer and I felt that it would be fitting for the legend himself to leave his mark on the cone. Steinberg asked me a few questions about the cone, but I think I blabbered a few words to him after I (pooed) my pants. (again, not really, but close). Carlos “Yellow Socks” Rogers and Fred “Sex Boat” Smoot also came over to the cone, but wouldn’t sign it because they go to gay SEC schools and know that they have to cover something more than the bed to touch this cone.



But the highlight of the day was Chris Cooley. Chris is a fan favorite around these parts and was more than willing to sign the cone. However, when he was signing the cone, he asked, “So, did you steal the cone.” And I said, “Uhhhh, No… Sir.” Cooley laughed as strolled off onto the sunset. No other players came around for they headed to do press or the locker room so thus, the cone had to be put away for the day. A security guard who spotted us as we were leaving had other plans for the cone as he told us that it had to be returned. We pleaded with the man showing him that the cone was ours and how it was different from the rest. I finally got the cone in the trunk and drove away with a hell of an adventure today.

The cone basking in all of its greatness.

More pictures will be up later.